I had a strange dose of reality today. One could even say it crashed into me.
Literally.
I was driving home from work this afternoon, preparing to turn into my neighborhood when a car in the lane next to me decided it wanted to turn into me. Now personally, I don't understand how a Ford Focus can fail to see the Ford Explorer looming directly over it. But she did, we hit, and suddenly as my Explorer locked up and shook as if to say, "what the hell was that?" I was in my first accident. Not bad for seven years of driving, and at least it wasn't my fault.
The usual procedures occurred; we pulled off the highway, got out and asked if the other was hurt. It being 2009, we whipped out our cell phones and began to take pictures, as we looked at my scraped and disjointed front wheel fender. I was irrationally angry, though thankfully I didn't take it out on her. My car, my camera, ipod, laptop, and phone are my material babies. You don't touch them, and you sure as hell don't hurt them. Two months after getting my Explorer it was keyed in a parking lot by a
little kid, and the entire right side had to be repainted. Let's just say the redhead temper wasn't just a myth then.
But this time I acted like an adult, held my tongue and proceeded with dignity, and then perhaps a bit of embarrassment at my own reaction when I saw her car. It maybe, kinda, sorta got the short end of the stick. My SUV kept me safe and I barely felt a jolt, while she got sucker punched as she drove into me. To be fair though, it's one of the reasons we bought the car in the first place.
The girl was nice, she was a college student who clearly knew her way around an accident scene. We stood around in the cold and waited for the police to arrive 45 minutes later and made small talk. Both of us were a little shook up, but were none worse for the wear, and hey it was her fault, so it would be more her problem than mine. (Except for the scar on my car that I will obsess over until it can be fixed.)
So what was my grand slap with reality? Was it the touch of vulnerability as my normally speedy (though this time I was only going 10 mph) driving felt its first collision? Was is it the adrenaline rush that reminded me of my immortality? Was it the fact that if I rely on my local police to show up when they're called in an emergency, I should essentially just make my peace with God and man and kiss life good bye?
No.
It was the fact that two girls in their early-to-mid 20s first actions were to call home.
Whose first words were, "Mom/Dad I was in an accident, can you come meet me?"
And they did. My dad arrived and made sure we were okay, tracked down the wayward police, and reaffirmed what I knew I had to do. He didn't take over, but he was there, and my mom was waiting at home with dinner ready, anxious for me to walk in the door so she could hug my guts out. My sister went and found my camera and sent it with him because she knew I would want to document everything. Even my dogs fretted over me when I finally got home an hour later.
They were a safety net. A much needed one at that. And tonight I realized that while I don't know what the hell it means to be a grown-up, I've got a helluva support system to keep me afloat until then.
And that's worth almost anything.
Even my car needing plastic surgery.
4 comments:
Katie,
If you can maintain your dignity during a fender-bender, then I think you can officially consider yourself "all grown-up." I like the connections you make in this post. You've written about more than just a ding in your Explorer and the leap from accident scene to safety net is smooth and believable. (Sometimes I call my mom if I don't feel well. I'm 48).
Cathy
The first accident is a rite of passage, espe here in NOVA. This is a nice change of pace from your regular blogs, since it moves back into the realm of family and support -- the safety net that you have as you encounter the trials and tribulations of making your own way.
SG
Safety nets--and social capital in general--are a deceivingly simple, yet important, discussion. Have you ever read "Bowling Alone?"
I'd love to continue to hear you riff on this--have you encountered other 20-somethings that don't have your kind of net? Have you always had your net? What can people do to improve their social capital? Etc.
I am proud you did not give in to road rage...that definitely shows your maturity.
I think there are other twenty-somethings that are away from home and don't have that safety net in close physical proximity.
It would be cool to start a discussion on what they would do... in fact I'd like to know because luckily I haven't had any problems but I'm a twenty-something living far away from family and friends.
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